Say Goodbye with Thanks to 2016

by: mybitsandpieces.net /thankyou2016

How do you feel about this year?  Was it good or was it bad?  Have you planned for next year?  As for me, I still have so much planning to do to change some things in my life… change that is for the betterment of myself and my family.  And to get to that change, I need to start the coming year better than I did before and maybe it is the same thing for you.

 

“Next year – 2017”.  It seems so long from now whenever I would say this phrase, yet it is just a day away!  And because this year is just about to end, it is good to pay attention to every highlight of it in order to prepare ourselves for the next year.  This year may not be perfect; it might have been challenging, tough, bitter, sweet, surprising, frightening, mourning, grieving, heartbreaking, and for whatever reason, it might have been a completely different year for you.  Despite all these, you realize that it is not the end of the world.  You realize that it all passed.  “Time heals and reveals”, as the rhyme says.  We should be thankful for the good and bad and look forward to what is coming up next.

This year for me has been a roller coaster ride.  I shed many tears and I am still mourning for the sudden loss of my beloved sister and it made me realize how short our life could be.  Despite this, there were many other great things that I have experienced this year that I have to put on my gratitude list.  Yet, this article won’t be about me.  This article is about the pointers to saying good-bye to 2016 with a thankful heart and welcome Twenty Seventeen with excitement! 

REFLECT.  Have you done your reflection?  The best thing to do at the eve of New Year is allot an hour of quiet time to be with yourself.  That is what I personally call, “Reflection”. Find a quiet corner.  You don’t have to be in a special place.  Just a small corner will do where you can be alone before you welcome the year with whoever you are celebrating with.  Sit there, close your eyes, and take a deep breath.  Look back to how you have started this year.  Here are a few questions to help you remember the important details in your life this year.

Ask yourself:

1.  What are all the important decisions I made from January until this month.  How did it impact my everyday life this year?  Financially, physically, and emotionally?

It’s good to know how your choices affected the outcome of this year in order to create better decisions in the coming year.  Important aspects like your health should not be taken for granted.  Your spending?  Did you spend on important things?  Did you do well at work?  Did you make the right choices?  Taking the right decisions impacts your year end.  And whatever mistake you did this year, remember to do better next year.

2.  What were the great things I received this year, month by month.  What are the places I have visited.  Who are the people I have met and encountered?  Think of the people who came into your life.  The ones that have been there for you during this year’s happiness and sadness, sorrow and joy?  Also, the ones who have been there for you to celebrate your success, supported you for your choices, who believed in you.  How did they influence you and add value to your life?

These are the reminders of how blessed we have been this year.  Although not all the good we encounter are meant to stay with us, yet knowing the influence and impact it did in our life will help us make better choices next year.

3.  Think about the bad news you have received.  All the shocking revelations.  Sudden death.  Loss of a loved one.  A break up from an intimate relationship.  Break up from your friends.  Loss of job.  All your plans that have failed.  Think of the people who have hurt you, ignored you, neglected you, have abandoned you, and have betrayed you.  How did their actions changed your life?  How bad have you been affected by these?  How did you handle them.  How are you coping up?  How did you let it affect you? and what have you learnt from this?

They say, “things happen for a reason”, and I believe there are these we call “blessings in disguise”.   Hardships and pain teach us patience and endurance in facing our everyday life.  Regardless how bad the situation is for you at the moment, remember that “It shall pass”.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, all you need is to do is surpass it.  I bet next year will be a lot easier for you if  you are able to learn from this year’s struggles.

There were so many things that have transpired since this year started.  I am sure there were many ups and downs, good and bad that might have affected your plans, and yet there were also many wonderful things that came to show you the brighter sides of things.

So before this year ends, look back and reflect.  Embrace all the lessons you learnt before you leave this year in the past.  The new year is just about to come, look forward to it with your head up high, optimism, and great conviction that you are going to make greater things happen this year.

After all, you always have a choice.  So now, how are you going to start the coming year?

 Good bye 2016 and Thank You for all the lessons!  God bless us all.

Embrace Today and Start Over

 

Today is a brand new day.
Leave the past behind, remember the good memories with a smile.
There should be no more tears but only joy and laughter.

Be strong to stand on your feet again, be courageous to speak your mind, and be brave to victor your new challenges.

 

You are made to live your life to the fullest.  You are made to share your journey towards your victories, and you are also made to share the lessons behind your defeat.

 

Your life is not only for yourself but for the people to learn from.
Your life is not only for yourself, but also for the people to get help from.
Your life is not only about yourself, but is about the impact you make to someone that, perhaps, you may not even know.

 

Forgive.

 

Forgive yourself for making wrong decisions yesterday; forgive yourself for causing hurt to others; and forgive the people who have caused you hurt.  Forgive yourself for blaming other people.  You are the only one who is responsible of all your actions.

No one else is.

 

Accept your wrongs, embrace the pain, and learn from them.

 

It is never too late to stand up, pick yourself up, and start over again.
It is never too late to fulfill your mission to make a difference in this world.
It is never too late to live an incredibly meaningful life.

Your life is a testimony.
Your life is a story.
Your life could be an inspiration to somebody and a nobody.

 

Embrace this day; a brand new day.  Another day of a chance to change your tomorrow. Pack your suitcase full of lessons and get out to the world.

Breathe in. Breathe out.  Get ready to embrace life again!

 

Life is beautiful to those who look at its beauty;  and it is wonderful to those who take it as a wonderful everyday experience.

 

Pray and Thank God for Today. ❤️

 

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The True Essence of Motherhood

Motherhood isn’t only about conceiving, labor pains, and giving birth.

Motherhood isn’t just about conceiving, labor pains, and giving birth.

Motherhood is “choosing” and “deciding” be to a real mother;

To raise a child, nurture a child, to give a life, and to shower a child with love unconditionally.

For there are those who have endured labor pains;

and those who have given birth;

but have abandoned their children.

And there are those who have not been blessed to conceive

and there are those who chose not to conceive;

However they gave a life to a child by nurturing him with

attention, lessons, and love…

Happy Mother’s day to all who are Moms.

Moms who chose and have decided to fulfill responsibilities of being one;

And came out to the real essence of being a truly nurturing and loving Mother;

Thanks to all the moms who sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of giving their children a good example of a “complete family”;

And to those Moms who fought for and managed to keep her family intact and really happy for her children, you are blessed!

And to all the Single Moms who does the work of a “Dad” at the same time.

You remained brave, motivated, and courageous to raise a child, alone.

You never gave up on your dreams;

You never gave up on raising your kids;

You continuously fill their need of “parents” by yourseld.

You are setting a great example to their small eyes.

Motherhood is a gift.  It is a lifetime journey.

 

Embracing Life

I embrace life the way it approaches me.
I let go of everything that is not for me.
I detach myself to fantasies.
I look at reality.
I am a single mother and I am proud to provide for my kids.  I am proud to teach them the value of what I do.

I made mistakes, I embraced them too, and learned from them.
One day, people will look into my life, and they will see that in every lifetime, there is a turning point.
My new life began 24 months ago when I chose to “let go” of what is not for me and those who don’t really need me in their lives, and instead I took the ride that God has made for me…

We are all different; with a completely unique story to tell and a totally different vision how to end that story.  I have struggled a lot and I am still struggling in a far away land to make ends meet for my children and to make all the things I aspire to realize on my own.  Through hard work, I know one day I will be proud that I’ve made the right decision to give them life instead.

As I always look back and until now, my life has been an extra ordinary journey that I know a lot of women who goes through similar one can relate.

My story is this and I definitely will make sure I am leaving a great a legacy through this simple way of writing.

This is mine.  My life.  What is yours?

 

What’s In my Heart?

I am very thankful that the last piece I’ve written on here was The Gratitude List.  I am glad I was able to thank my sister.  At least, I was able to say a few words to thank her.

I am sorry I needed to write this.  I tried not to but now I have to.

After a few weeks of being occupied by my body, work, and the other two big things that I’ve started to take, I lost track of what could go in just a snap.  Well, who would have thought?  Who would have known?

I’m not sure if this would be relative to you… although it may be if you are interested to see what’s inside my heart.

Open my heart… and you will see that despite the smile you see in my face, there is my self sat in the corner… sobbing in tears… asking God if He allows her to look at us from above?

I wonder if she sees me crying because I am terribly stuttered that she left so soon?

Open my heart… and you will see despite my courage I wonder…

I wonder if she can hear me…  because I want to tell her things that I have missed to say to her…

I wonder if she could feel my heart… because I could never have the chance to say sorry if I had done whatever to hurt her .

I wonder if she knew that I did love her, and that I still do, and that I will never ever stop loving her…

Open my heart and you will see that I am not really “okay”.  Although I smile, I laugh at jokes, I giggle, I speak encouragement, I console people, I negotiate at work, I meet up with my clients…  Even though they see me normal as if nothing happened, deep inside I would say that I am not okay.  My heart pounds and hurts a lot whenever I’d entertain the thought of her… Yes, really I am not yet okay.

I know there are things that we could not bring back anymore.  The life of people we lost. However, it is just really difficult to accept.  Everyday, I try to live as normal as it should be, for the people around me that love me and care about me.  I resumed myself to work, convinced myself that I cannot stop and that I cannot take my time to grieve for my loss because I need to serve the company that pays my bills.  I can’t cry because I can’t work with my eyes sore and swollen from tears.  I just can’t.  I had not to show some weakness.

But I broke down… and it hits me even harder… as days go by.

I lost a piece of my life.  I lost the person who knew me even before I met her.  I lost the person who brought me up during my adolescence.  I lost the person who was always there to cheer me up when the life seemed unfair.   I lost the person who always believed in my talent and the least person who expects I could make mistakes.  I lost the person who brought me flowers every Mother’s day because she knew my boys are too small yet to hand me one.

I lost the person who loved my children more than I could tell…

I just can’t imagine living a life missing the times that I could just call her and talk to her… I’ll be missing the times that I would celebrate with her… and the times that I would laugh with her as she drank her wine with me… and us her siblings.

I just can’t believe that it all happened in a snap… without giving me… and us the chance to say goodbye to her… or at least heard what she wanted to say at her last breath.  I could only imagine that she too, was probably rushed.  She probably felt terrible at the moment for leaving so soon without kissing us  goodbye.

I can’t believe it has been  thirty eight days… of pain and missing someone I loved since I was a child… and though I am still in agony about her passing…  I wonder how it is for my family?  I couldn’t also imagine how is it for all the people who loved her and spent time with her during her lifetime.

Our Valentine’s day from now on will be commemorating the start of her journey in Heaven…  Myself tells me I have to be happy for her… because she is now at peace.  Perhaps partying and celebrating with our Dad.

But I can’t say good bye… It is going to take forever.

Yes, I’m broken… No words can describe.

 

 

 

 

 

A Time For Reflection… The Gratitude List

 

 

It’s Christmas and I am enjoying my “alone” time today.   It is raining in the deserts of Doha, very gloomy weather, and yet, it is a perfect time to reflect, I told myself.  I’ve given myself few moments to reflect on what I am writing about today.  I had to put everything away for now, my work emails, my phone that gets me in touch with everybody that I love, and all connectivity that distracts me away from writing this.  Great, I’m ready to bring it on for you to read!

Having chosen this topic to write about, I wanted to really ask you this question first, Are you grateful for this year?

Asking that above makes me reflect upon how grateful I have become for every little thing that has occurred to me ever since.   There were times I had complained about work and so on, but at the end of the day, I know I still have to be thankful for having what I have now, not only in the form of material things, but most importantly experiences I’ve gone through and lessons I gained that added value to me as a person.   That same thing goes for you too.

I also had a very difficult time last year and even worse the year before it.  I had to learn how to deal with my emotions and to have a stronger will everyday.

Hence, I wouldn’t have made it through without everyone who played a role for every part of my transformation.  And this time, I would like to take this opportunity to write and share with you about what is in my Gratitude List.

God First. I am so grateful to the One who has all the power to make us all existing and living in this planet.  That One who began everything.  The One who gave me this life and gave me wisdom to realize that I could transform my life into something that I always wanted.  I know I have never seen him, but I believe in this Supernatural being that hears my prayers, my whispers, my wishes, and can see all that I can imagine.  Most of all, that One God that sends great people to me, whom I would want to keep and remember for the rest of my life.

Second… Parents.  

My Mother.  I thank her for bearing me in her womb for nine months, for nurturing me, for carrying me until I had learned to walk, for giving me a pen and a paper; and everything that I needed to learn how to read and write; for letting me play outside which allowed me to discover my childhood on my own;  for showing me how to fry an egg and cook rice at age seven; and for letting me help wash some dishes at age six; for guiding me to take a jeepney to school at age eight; for sending me off to the market to get something for cooking at age of ten; all of which have made me the independent and responsible woman I have become now.  Most of all, for looking after my gems and for letting me have my life back away from home and for believing in me that I am able to achieve the success I long for.

My Father.  I wish I realized my purpose before he passed away so I could thank him sincerely when he brought me my first typewriter when I was nine years old.  I remembered how excited I was to use it.  I hurriedly took a blank paper, rolled it in, then my two estranged index fingers slowly landed on its keys.  I could still clearly remember him watching me then he held my fingers and guided them where to go.  “These fingers must only go to this point, and these ones are only limited to this point.”  He said to me while drawing an imaginary line pointing out on specific letters on the keyboard.  And I took note of that.  I lived in it and still carry that lesson in me.  Ever since then, I found my passion in writing short novels.  I’ll be forever grateful for that day.

Third…

My Siblings.  I am very thankful for having them around to support me all the time I needed it.  I know they are all busy working on their own lives, yet was always there to pay a visit, to give a hug, to tell me I am not alone, and especially to bring a bottle of Rum or Brandy and Juice to chill out with.  Although they know I always try to solve things on my own, they always reached out to make me feel that they got my back and that they are ready to rescue in case I would ask them to.  Ate Eva and Ruth, Kuya Gilbert, and Kuya Elmer.

Fourth…

Closest Friends.  There are very few of them who in the times that I needed help, though I’d never asked for it, they always would come to me anyway and extend anything that they could give me because they feel that I am in need.  That saying, I realized that they trust in me and they believe in me.  They were there in the lowest times of my life, cried when I cried, encouraged me to stand when I felt weak on my knees, was always there to listen even to my then “horrible redundant failure” in my previous relationships.  They are the ones who are closely wishing for me and praying for me to get the best in life.   I love them all.  Ken, Lucy, Karl, and Ate Adah; Han, Tem, Thina, and Ara; Jb, Ria, and Camz, Ems, Gretta, and Anabelle.  Sheryl and Cindie; my cousin Erlette and the woman I’ve first admired and looked up to, ate Sally Edrozo and her family.

They have done so many great things for me at the time of need, and I am forever grateful for their individual participation in my life.

Fifth.

New People.  It’s amazing how we meet people everyday and one day, they instantly become very dear to us.  Maria, my soul mate as she always claims, a crazy dreamer like me, and a real hard-worker; Dani who was always there as my work out buddy, and Che who pushed me to go for a dinner that I did not want to go for, but eventually, I thanked her for pushing me because I had opened my door to the man who now showers me with so much love, respect, admiration, and attention that every woman would ask for; and for that I am truly grateful.

Sixth

I am also grateful for the life stories shared with me by all single moms I met here  in Doha.  Their success in letting go, starting over again, and going with the flow inspired me a lot.  Their painful stories made me realize that we are never a victim of anyone in life.  We make our choices, and we live in the consequence of that choice we made; whether good or bad.

Seventh

Readers.  I am so grateful for all different people from different places, men and women, who would stumble into my writing, and send me a message that they relate to my article and would thank me for posting it, makes me grow more in my purpose of writing and sharing what I have learned to help those who need encouragement and empowerment.

Eight

Women I Admired.  I am grateful for Ate Sally’s life, because she was the first woman I looked up to when I was thirteen, and my sister Eva for caring for me, and my grade four teacher Lanie when I was ten; they all opened my eyes to know how a “working woman” looked so powerful in the eyes of a little girl.

Later this year I’ve met a couple of wonderful empowered women who inspires me, who makes me realize even more that women have the power to make a change.  They are life coaches, Life Speakers like Karen Kennaby, Evra Lliaki, QPWN Women, Ladies of Qatar, and a lot more wonderful, tough, intelligent, and empowered beautiful women.

Nine

I have so much more people I am grateful of, that I couldn’t mention everyone anymore.  People I met from different fields I’ve been at, managers and colleagues who have encouraged me a lot to be better with what I do.  My childhood friends I played paper dolls, marbles, rubber bands, and candy wrappers with, you really made my childhood truly amazing!

Tenth

I am grateful for having God put little good rascals in my life.  Because of them, I see more meaning of my existence.  Because of them, I wanted change and decided to live a life I am never afraid they will follow.

Eleven

I do sincerely thank the people who played a part in the role of causing me hurt, causing me damage, and traumatic experiences; may it be at work or personal life.  I know they definitely did not mean to hurt me, but the situation had asked for it.  All those were meant to teach me a lesson that made me the grown fiercer and wiser woman I am today.  Thank you.

Last but not the least…

My Past.  I can’t help myself not to look back sometimes and see where I came from, see where I stumbled, stood up, went wrong on, and from all these, I became a more beautiful person inside, considerate, balanced, and way more confident in whatever life is going to throw at me.

My heart is overflowing with happiness and gratefulness for everything that happened this year.  It is a totally different year from all the past years.  I’m glad I was able to make that decision of letting go, moving on, going with the flow, and starting over again as quick as I did because it was really, really worth it.

I hope sharing this gratitude list with you may help you appreciate and count everything as a blessing today.  Somethings may be looking unpleasant at the moment for you, nevertheless you  will see why it is happening, and one day you will be truly grateful for it.

So, again, Are you grateful for this year?  If so, what do you have now in your gratitude list?   

Start writing them and announce them, or you may keep it private at the moment.  Hence, thank you for taking time to read on my Blog.

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

 

 

 

Quote #101

Single Mom, 

One day you will… 

Smile again,

Laugh again,

Giggle again,

Fall in love again.

Pray for it…

-iamaprillugod

Sometimes, I know you feel like giving up in waiting for Love. But LOVE is just around… It happens most likely when you’re busy becoming the best “Woman” and the best “Mom”.   Have Courage to say no to and to walk away from what is not for you; and have Patience to wait for the right one to come.

Keep praying for it ❤🙏🏻  Have a good evening!

Perfect Timing 3 : The Transient and The One

Everyone you meet along becomes part of your journey.  The one who left deserves “Thanks”.  And the one who stays deserves “You”.

-iamprillugod

I’m seated right next to the shore, and rocks are getting slammed by tiny waves on the coast of Doha.  The noise it creates is a music to me.  The weather is being very pleasant with me lately.  Especially now.  Of course, I remember! The winter has just started.  This spot is turning to a haven now to expats who love to work out, run, or walk outdoor just like me.  And is a perfect setting now to clear your head, relax, breathe in, and breathe out, and reflect about all the great things that are happening to you…  And thank the God for bringing them to you.

I think this country is a combination of tears and laughter that makes it truly memorable to those who left.  I look around.  Plenty of people from different groups.  I passed a look at my left, and I see from not too far a couple.  I do love observing people, watch them talk or laugh, or even try to figure out what they are thinking…

The couple.  It seems like they are having deep talks over there.  I can see the girl looking far away; and the guy with her seems like her man.  On the other side, I see a girl holding her book.  Slowly sipping her coffee.  She smiles as she reads on it and then checks on her phone.  And then she looks up in the sky, with a smile on her face as she slightly tilts her head.  She seemed alone.  She is probably single like me, but I am not sure if she’s a single mom too.  Anyways, I can tell that she is day dreaming… probably dreaming about her prince charming… or maybe dreaming about her fantasies… or dreaming about having kids, and having a family.  She looks happy.  And that energy I see from her, duplicates and transcends.  She makes me feel happy too!

I looked back again to the couple.  Placed my eyes on them again.  The man seated next to the woman, stooped down, slouching, and his arms on both his thighs, slowly he raised his arms, and held his chin, and took a deep sigh.  Then he courageously looked at the woman, held her hand once again.  Now,  I can see that she is sobbing in tears… Oh sad… I can feel she’s in pain.   She looks around and glad she didn’t catch me watching them.  Then, she looked at her man again, then closed her eyes, and held her hands as if she is praying… The man wiped her tears and slowly he stands up and walks away…  She’s trying to help her self from crying but I can tell it is difficult… She can’t.  I feel saddened.

Oh my God, did I just witness a break up?  I thought.  Alright now, I am looking at the girl again, I can’t help it.  I have to approach her… Oh no.  I grabbed my stuff but she’s gone.  She walked away too…

I walked towards the same seat where she was and opened my laptop again.  What a sad view I just seen.  It makes me feel heavy now too.  I feel like crying for her too.  Oh no!  Did the guy leave her alone?  Perhaps.  Or she asked him to go…  I am curious but not because I gossip, but because I went through the same pain before, and I believe that there is a possibility for me to feel the same pain again. But no, I’d like to try again.  Laughing at myself suddenly.

So I sat down, and looked around.  Now I see the other girl seated on the coffee shop, smiling at that good-looking-guy that is approaching her.  He hugged her and kissed her on the forehead then gave her a smack on her lips.  Whoa!  It seems like a view of the two people in love this time.  Immediately, I forgot the sadness I felt earlier from the first couple I saw… Looking at them now, I can tell the girl is happy with the man that she is with.  It looks like a good man she’s got there.

I can feel a hope in my heart, placed my hands on my chest, and reflected to past.  Just like that girl, I cried… but then I recovered.  And one day, I’ll be this girl in the coffee shop too!  I’m full of hopes because I believe that life indeed is a journey.  I keep saying this in all of my writings in different ways.

Photo courtesy of: Maria’s Photoclicks
IG: mariasphotoclicks

I believe that everyone you meet along becomes part of your journey.  Those who left deserve, “Thanks.”  The one who stays deserves “You”.

Right isn’t it?  People come and go, as every wise man would say it.  And the best part is, the mark it leaves in your life!  Many times, by making the wrong choices, we think of ourselves as the worst people because we were “dumb” enough to go wrong and to stumble.  Partly because we got hurt or betrayed, or partly because we have hurt people for doing that.

We think that we had made the mistake of choosing to trust the people we trusted, the people we liked, and the friends we loved.  I always believed that each person we meet comes to influence our life in two forms:  Positive and Negative.  Somehow, though it did cost me a lot of life experiences to learn this, I still have learned to define the two types of people who come in our lives anyway.   I gained something.  Let me share it quickly:

1.  The Transient.  The one who comes to us, bring fun in us, but later impacts us negatively by delving deeply in our emotions, thus puts us down and hits on our morale.  I am sure you have had many of these, or maybe haven’t yet…  But we have to avoid them and remove them.  They have to go back to their own journey and leave us, because they are not supposed to stay.  They came across us for one reason, and that reason is to leave.  They are only there for a moment to show us what is good and bad; who stays and who is not to stay, and eventually helping us to come out to even better choices in the future.

1.   The One.  This the person who really deserves to have a place in your heart. The one who has no inhibitions and reservations to have you.  That says it all.  I’m not only talking about the life partner, but also talking about a real friend.  The friend who is there for you no matter what attitude you have.  The friend who is always at your back.   Nothing more nothing less.   The people who loves being with you, sharing things and life with you.  The people who loves seeing you happy.  And probably the people who will never leave until your hair turns grey!

I believe that no matter how painful it gets at times, it leaves you not only scars but also lessons that you take along with.  The people, the experiences, and most of all the wisdom you gain from it.  These all make you a great person!  And if along the journey, you meet the one who stays through, be yourself, and never let it go.

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Thanks for reading this short article which will be a part of the book I am writing!  Keep sharing the message!

The Perfect Timing : Wait Patiently

You are single and probably a mom too.  Why is it best to stay single and wait?

As a woman working and living in the middle east part of the world, being single would not be an ideal choice for everyone.  Living away from your family, in a totally different culture and a Islāmic family environment, who would not feel lonely?  As a woman, single, and away, who would not want to feel secured and get taken cared of?

Most of my friends are either attached in a relationship or committed in marriage.  No wonder why many times I felt alone, because I am literally alone most of the time.  Sometimes I do imagine how wonderful would it be to wake up each morning next to not only the man of your dreams–but the man you so-called, “Mr. Right”, and just look at every detail of his face while you watch him sleep or while he gets awake… well this is a dream.

I know I sound many times hopeless romantic, but maybe because the people around me like I said are all paired, except me.  However I told me self, I want to enjoy my time alone and on my own.  It was not for anybody, but for myself.  And if Mr Right is coming along, I’d say “hello”, with a smile on my face.  Why not!

Look, I’ve been single for more than a year and half now, and before that, I had a very rocky road and a roller coaster hell of a ride relationship.  There were sweet memories but the last phase of it was a chaos, it torn me into pieces that I almost attempted to end my life! (I’m over it and it makes me laugh now!).  It made a huge impact in my career, in my finances, and in my emotions.  The worst was, I felt I was an epic fail.   But thank God, my loved ones were there!

I am sure, in a way, you also felt this way.  We all felt this way.  So, what am I trying to point out to you?  Why is it better to stay single?  Stay single for some time, may it be a year, or two years.  It all depends how long you want to enjoy it.

I’ll give you a rewind of how I coped up with the loneliness of being away from my family.  I thought it was time to meet a guy.  I tried to talk to a few, met a few for coffee, but then I never have found the guy I was looking for.  One day I got fed up, and I asked my self why am I feeling that way.  Then, I looked at my life and again I did ask my self: “Do I really need a man in my life?.”  “Is that what I really want?”.

So I came up to a reflection.  I looked at my self and I realized; I was maybe conforming to what the society dictates.  However I acknowledge that I absolutely would need a man.  A man to condiment my life and to share my happiness with, to add hues to its colors.  Not a man to have only for the sake of just having a man around.  Do not hurry and do not compromise your life and happiness for anything that will not make you really happy.

Again.  Why you should wait for sometime and stay single?  Two most important things I came up with to summarize it:

Enjoy yourself with your time alone.  You have to rediscover your talents and reach your full potential.  I am sure, you neglected so many things that would enhance yourself and become the best in your personal life, social life, and in your career endeavors because you were too busy taking care of other people.  You have forgotten that the most important person you have to look after to first is you. Now that you have your time all yours again, you have plenty of it to know yourself even more.  Take advantage of it.  Don’t rush.  Remember how you fell off the cliff before? I know you don’t want to repeat that.  Move forward and start making a change in your life.  Look back to what you are passionate about doing, and start from there.

Mr Right is also looking out for you.  I never did stop believing in this, and somehow I noticed that when I enjoyed my self and my time alone, I became a better me.  I believe that we create our own Mr Right.  Your Mr Right reflects the kind of woman who you are now.  When you start to know what you want, then he comes.  Remember the law of attraction, “The universe will conspire to get to your dreams.” Stick to who you are, stick to what your principles in life are, and stick to what you believe in.  You don’t need to take one step down again to fit your self into something that isn’t what you really wanted and asked for.  Have patience.  Learn to wait and believe that it is worth it all.

Just wait! There is perfect timing for everything.

Many single moms forget the rough time that they have gone through in their lives not only once nor twice, but thrice, and that many are still going through it but they never learned.  A lot of us thought that an act of kindness is a sign of the right one. Somebody knocks, your intuition tells you something is wrong, but then he gave you a piece of gold.  So you did let your door open and finally allowed the nice guy to come in and eventually only to rob you triple worth of the gold he gave you to get in.

We are all given wisdom to guide us in getting what we deserve to have, and make ourselves deserving for what we have asked for.  Use it, always.

 To God be the glory and thanks for reading!

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Please help me to share and spread this article for all the women out there.  The youth deserve awareness!

Never Too Late : Educate Yourself

What a way to spend a holiday back home! I spent my Eid break with my wonderful kids, niece and nephew, and my awesome partner in life.  We went back home for two weeks and guess what, it was not like any other holidays! It wasn’t our dream beach holiday yet it was one productive holiday, worked a lot about our future, strengthened bond with the kids, reconciled with important people, met an amazing woman (whom I would like to share more of later on), and ironed out my priorities.  I have been lucky to have a very supportive partner who is always willing to walk along with me in everything I would like and need to do.  I am truly blessed.

How many of you have not earned their degree on time?  I just want to share that it is never too late to start working on it and keep making yourself better in doing everything right for whatever you like to achieve.  All you need to do is again, START.  And ofcourse, ask yourself the importance of doing this.  It is quite difficult for some of us to juggle everything while we have too much on our plate.  Yet, we can only say it is too much when we do not seriously find time for what is important; doing things productive that will enhance our life.

So this holiday, I have finally and officially enrolled again to an Expanded Tertiary Education Equivalency and Accreditation Program that support professionals like me who were not able to get their degree due to many interventions in their lives.  It is something to look forward to for people like me who treats education as one of many other aspects of success.  The thing is, I do not need this degree just to earn a title. Many graduates tell me how difficult it is for them to find their career path despite holding their degree.  That is true.  Having a degree does not define your success, but it helps to mold your perseverance and certifies your hard-work that will help you to take bigger challenges in your future.

Michelle Obama once said, “Empower yourselves with a good education, then get out there, and use that education to build a country worthy of your boundless promise.”

I do not think I would like to build a country, but I would like to build an empire that I could pass on to my kids and their kids, and our future generations.

One thing I would like to share is that, we can take control of our life.  We are who we want to be.  We are the dreamers and the achievers of those dreams, and not other people.

When I was 23, I thought of continuing my education.  It was the best idea ever!  But, I was scared that I did not have enough time to juggle my life.  I had to get married at 21, got separated at 22.  It was a dark journey to get out of.  I have stumbled seven times, but was able to stand up eight, stronger and wiser; people like me who dreams and fight for our dreams can only work for those dreams to come true.  We can keep dreaming but do nothing.  We make mistakes and often we feel like, it was the end of the world.  Yet, at the end of the day, we are brave enough to tell Life that, “hey, I will make my life happy.”

Because at the end of it all, when our hair turns gray and our knees become too weak to walk, we do not want to look back in regrets.  So wherever you came from, whatever has intervened your life, just go with it and do what is enjoyable for your to win it.  For as long as we breathe, nothing is ever too late.

Go get your degrees mamas, if you are like me, who thinks there is a missing part of the puzzle for not obtaining a degree.  You can do it!

P.S.  It will not be easy working on my degree, yet I will try my very best to keep you updated.  If you are interested to know how I availed mine, please feel free to message me.

 

I AM Bigger than my problems…

“I am bigger than my problems!”
Yes I am and so are you. We are made thinkers, but over thinking takes us to nowhere.  The start of the year was not really great.  Half of this year became controversial for the industry and that country itself we are currently at. Ecomony is threatened.  There are just too many things that are worrying.  A lot of many not great personal circumstances and events that have  approached me.  I got worried.  Terribly worried.  I cried, shed tears, endured sleepless nights.  Hugged my self tight and looked at my eye bags in the mirror.  Nothing got resolved by worrying too much though.  

Luckily, I got a great partner in life whom I can tell now that, will always be there for me; he is indeed  “a gem” I found in the desert.  True friends who care; my mother and most of all, my children that will always serve as my source of motivation.  They all are blessings from the Lord.

So I breathe deeply, and calmed myself down.  I prayed a lot and just gave it back to God.  I never did resist any storm in my life and as always will never will.  I take it as it goes and as they say, I do just “go with it“.  I listened to lots of TedX talk by many successful women.  I needed this to serve as my inspiration and to encourage me more.  Like they say, “If they made it through, why can’t I?”.  There is no exception.  We all go through rough times in our life.

I shared what was happening to only a few of my closest friends, not to become a burden to them but to serve as a lesson.  After all, this is what life is about.  It gave me a sense of pride claiming a victory for hanging in tight to overcome the fear came along this change.  

Yes change.  I believe that every uncomfortable situation we are in this moment is actually leading us to where we have to get to.  The destiny that our hearts subconciously follow.  Yet, before we reach our destiny, we need to go through trials that make our journey more meaningful and strengthen us for the future.

It is a matter of dealing to whatever it is being thrown at us that makes us successful.  As a single mom, I have to deal with every problem as an equation that needed to get solved.  Whenever we are thrown in a situation that we do not like, we have to stay grounded and look at the whole picture.  Until then, just like a jigsaw puzzle we will, never get to finish it.

If only I could detail the last six months, but I can’t (it could be a novel).  Given the fact that I am just recovering from the loss of my dearest sister, it is quite apprehensive for my faith.  Yet I have to bear with it all because I believe in bigger things that are waiting for me.  

So in case any of you, reading this, and is going through a tough time, please don’t lose faith.  There is a being up there, One that we don’t see that is bigger and stronger than us. The only being who sees our hearts. These problems we have, they will remain problems only needed to get either resolved or just to let pass.  Remember, better things are awaiting for you and me. And BIGGER if only you could see…

Tell yourself this many times until it soaks your inner being, “I am bigger than my problems!”.  Deep breathe, and say it again.  Over and over…. Because indeed, you are!  And because of that, you can manage it. 😉

Have a great time ahead! 

love, April 

 

“A Bad Surprise”

Sometimes we receive “bad” surprises. However we try, if something is “NOT” for us it is not for us.  We can cry about it for hours, days, months, or years.  But, we can only move on.

For as long as we breathe, “Tomorrow” is always another day.  A new chance to make new decisions and better choices. A new beginning of a new journey.
As the wise men say, “When one door closes, a new one opens!”,  and if you’ve been a great person, you get a “plus one” or “partner in life”; And if you’ve been a great student, you get a “take-along of life experiences full of wisdom”.

 

So whatever “bad surprise” might have come in your life today, I firmly believe, it serves a beautiful purpose.

Turning Point

I slapped myself, many times I stumbled because I was rushing to know what was out there.  I dictated the situation around me.  I did things my way, because I said, “This is my life and I’m not letting anyone dictate me.”  Many times I got related to the wrong people.  Many times also, I have been involved into many things that were actually not for me.  I cried and loved the wrong people.  I despised those who treated me wrong in the past.  My heart had been broken many times and I thought going out and getting drunk was the only solution to mend my broken heart.  I was broke many times, and as a single mom, I had responsibilities too.  I repeated some of my mistakes which broke me into pieces. 

I got hurt, mocked, and broken.  And guess what, I surpassed them all.  And one day, I came to a point when I said, I am no longer repeating this.  I looked at the happy and successful people around me.  They are focused to their goals, while I was always lost to find myself.  

The problems were not only money and relationships.  The main problem was myself.  And many of us fail to admit that we are the problem; not them.  And in this turning point of my life, I realised that the biggest problem were my thoughts, my actions, my decisions, and the way I dealt in life.

I would like to say this again, I’ve hurt myself many times in the past by the decisions I made. In fact, not only myself but also others. I realized that but it was too late to avoid the lowest point in my life. It was dark and it seemed impossible to get up. I got fed up, that was when I said, “God help me. Let your will be done this time.” That was the turning point of my life. And I know, I am never ever going back there again.  This is why I am writing this article.  
One day, you will be in the lowest point of your life.  When you have no way back because you can only move forward and see how your life gets better.  When it seemed like no one was there to help, but there are instruments of goodness that are actually being sent to you.  If you can only silence your self and listen to what the Omnipotent Power has to say to you.  You will see the miracle that you are experiencing.  All you need to do is accept it in your life and use it as “fund” to a start up and be grateful for all that is happening.

This is just the beginning.  

Turning point happens when you are finally fed up with hurting yourself.  Then you will find yourself accepting all your wrongs and you realize that YOU are the only person accountable for everything that has happened and that is happening in your life.  Yes, only you can amend this.

I still remember the day I had reached my turning point.   It was dark before that time, I was feeling hopeless and scared.  But then I lifted everything to God.  I said to him, “If you are real, please help me.”  And with no doubt, He did.  And that happened because I let things move for me, and not “I moved things my way” anymore.  Yes, I opened my eyes to a “hope” that things will get better, if I let Life work on its own for me. 

A Turning Point becomes a turning point because you choose to open your eyes, and because you choose to trust in your journey.  I have come up to many realizations after this turning point such as:  

1. Life is so easy, if we choose not to complicate things.   

Life is so easy, if we choose not to complicate things.   

We create our own problems.  Whatever we have right now is a result of what we have chosen.  We often at times feel the need of going for something not because we are the right one for it, but because it was what we “feel like” we wanted even though we know it is actually going to hurt us in the end.  

1.  There is a time for everything.  This is a bible verse that I kept in me for the last 32 months from my turning point.  I am not a religious kind of individual, at the turning point of my life, God showed me miracles.  One thing I learned is to wait for the right time.  

There is a time for everything.  – Ecclesiastes 3

1.  Be still.  It shall pass.  Our suffering, pain, or whatever can end by our own set of thinking.  If you think you can’t, I tell you now that you can.  

Hold on because rainbow comes after the rain. 

1.  Believe that you can change your life.  

We have the power to create the life that we want.  Only if you believe. 

The only person you should allow to work in your life is yourself, but with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Pray and Believe that you are going to change the world, but you have to start in yourself. 

1.  You are created with a purpose.  

Your life has a purpose, you have to figure out what that is.  

When you start dedicating whatever you do not only for yourself but also for others, then you will start finding that inner purpose.  Mine is to leave my legacy to my children.  That is for them to have a better outlook in life; and for them to turn to a responsible individuals contributing to the youth, and passing on a great teaching about life.  

1.  Forgive and Let go.  Once I started forgiving, until when I said I let go, that was when great things started to come into my life.  Doors started to open for me, and the right people came in it.  

Forgive, Let Go, and doors will open with the right people in it.  

1.  Dream Again.  Become a kid again, go back to what you loved when you were a child.  Bring back that inner child in you. 

2.  Help.  You know the feeling when you were in deep deep troubles.  So help. 

It’s been an early thought but I have been wanting to start this article long ago but I got busy juggling work, personal life, and responsibilities back home.  This article is inspired by the many challenges I have taken and you will have to take.   I would say, we all have our own turning point.  The question is, when do you take your turn? 

When I embraced Motherhood

And so as I kept asking myself, why am I here on Earth?

I believe I was born for a greater purpose before I intervened life by my untimely choices back when I was younger.  Though, this doesn’t mean I am no longer meant to accomplish great things.  I didn’t finish my University because I was lost – I was very obedient, studious, ambitious, and a University Scholar.  I had to follow my guardian’s decisions towards my future, I had to leave my scholarship for a domestic course they chose for me, because it was the trend; something that I never really liked and imagined myself be doing as a profession.  I did not resist in the beginning, yet I lost my sense of freedom.  I felt like I had been dictated and it pushed me to become stubborn to obey.  It was because I knew it was something that isn’t for me.  So I left it, I lived on my own rules, and I explored my life on my own.

Then, Elijah came.  My first born.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to raise him because it was unplanned.  My world collapsed as I was not married, I was twenty, so young.  In my head, I was not ready for a family.  But I knew I prepared my self to become a mom.  He was supportive though.  My Ex.  He was there for me through it all.  Tough times, and he was there.  I thought that was it, and so I embraced it.

Time flew by, relationship did not work out.  Irreconcilable differences.  I realized, I was only trapped by the situation I was in before.  I was young and when the storm came, I was not that strong to fight for it.  I was scared to gamble and so I gave it up.  I learned from it though.  A lot.  During those times, I thought it was the end of my life as I was married, had a kid, and separated.  It was not how I imagined my life have started.  I did not wish for that.  However, it happened.

I gave up my marriage but not my dreams.  I left my home country to see what was out there.  I left hoping that I can build my life again.  Elijah was my sole inspiration.  But I was still trapped and manipulated by my past.   I was moving on in a foreign land, with the dreams and hopes that one day, everything will be normal again.  I tried to find ways to speed up my process, but every time I tried, I ended up wounded.

Years passed and Zachary came into my life.  He was my turning point.  I will tell you more about this later.  It is very inspiring!  Not because it was me, but because I have gone through a tough battle with my self and my life and I am very proud of what I have become.  I am proud of everything that I have learned.  I freed myself from bondage of everybody who caused me pain.  I have forgiven them and so I am here now telling my own story.  

Now that I have started my thirties, I realized how I rushed in many decisions I made.  This time I know that there is a time for everything.  We can’t snatch someone else’s until you know they are no longer someone else’s.  You have to wait.  A time to heal and a time to start again.  A time to face whatever consequences of our actions taken.

 So when I both had them, there was one thing that I knew right there and then.  I am a mother and that my children are going to be my legacy.  They are my products and whatever I do, either they will love or they will hate.  And therefore I go by the first one.  I always wanted to make sure that in everything I do, they won’t be ashamed of it.  

When I first embraced motherhood, during Elijah’s time, I was young and I did many wrong decisions.  Immediately I realized that anything that we caused pain or harm to anybody will only result to pain causing ourselves in the end.  I learned things the hard way because I was always in a hurry.  Going back to motherhood, there were many ups and downs.  Being separated from my ex-husband did not make things easy for raising my son.  It made it harder.  We constantly argued of his custody.  I did not resist.  Because of so much love I have for Elijah, I let him enjoy his time with his dad.  Time passed and he understood our situation.  While he was growing up, I explained why Mommy and Daddy can no longer live together.  At his very young age of three, he tried to understand.  Later on, I can tell you more.  

It was harder for me to move on and settle down because I wouldn’t want to hurt Elijah.  Deep inside his heart he was hoping that Mom and Dad can still build him a “family”, a common status dictated by our society.  

Some people have asked, if I loved Elijah, why didn’t I just kept the marriage?  I know a few wife, who are still inside their marriage, trying to make things work for the kids.  I salute them!  I was scared when I was young.  I was brought up in a home where violence between my parents was prevalent instead of love.  I love them both but it hit me when it was my turn.  When I knew my marriage was failing, I got scared of forcing it to work.  Instead, I quit after I knew he didn’t want it anymore.  I didn’t resist.  The thought of fighting inside my marriage will hurt my child and will affect his growth even more.  I never thought relationship could be diplomatic.  I will tell you later about what a good relationship is, based on my experience.  Going back, I was young and I thought, I saved my son from seeing violence between his parents.  And I believe he is modest kid being raised in a modern family. 

 

 

 

February is Love Month

Looking forward to this month?  Time is flying by really quickly.  Sometimes I wonder is it just me? Or do you also notice how quick the days go by?  It is indeed but hey, no need to hurry.  Let’s savor each day especially of this month!  

Last year’s February was a big surprise to me.  It was a sweet bitter experience.  Hopefully this February is far better.  

So what do you have planned for this month?  For some, it might be just another ordinary month.  Who gives a shit?  But I know, for some of you, it is a month of hope to find their true love.  A month to finally receive roses and chocolates.  Though, let me also remind you that true love isn’t just about roses and chocolates.  😉 

I’ll share you how my 2015 looked like!  It was a hopeful one!  Full of dreams and aspiration to find true love.  And guess what?  I’ll tell you more later.  

Since it is a Love Month, I will post stories of finding true love to inspire, tickle, and unleash that romantic nature you have been holding on inside you.  

Who does not want to hear about great love stories?  Perhaps half of you reading this have been inspired by, The Notebook, Benjamin Button, Bridgett Jones, Twilight, and so on!  These are just all that spontaneously came out of my head.  Bottom line is, everybody is interested to listen to a love story!  Love is the biggest and most powerful force in the Universe.  It is what we were all born out of anyway.  So, if you have a story to tell, share it to me and will write about it… why not spread love this month?  Let’s do it.   

Weekend, wait for there is a girl who never gave up in finding true love that she deserves! 

Happy Love Month!  Happy reading and happy sharing! 

 ❤️ April 

January is for Beginning, Again.

Just before this January of the new year 2017 ends, I would like to take some time to write and share with you about the wonderful realization I learned from a single mother this month.  It’s about her story from becoming a young mother to choosing to be a single mother.  

Along with her story is REGRET.  Regret is a poison.  It is a poison if you have not acknowledged that the cause of feeling this emotion was a learning experience to mould you to be a better person.  Regret stops you from “hoping and be willing  to change”.  Regret is an emotion that drowns you into itself and gets you stuck in “if only” and “what if”.  Regret is really bad to entertain in your thoughts.

It is right to feel the remorse.  Remorse is a feeling that tells you, “You have made a wrong choice.” Yet, it makes you feel like, “alright, I’ve done something wrong, I am sorry.”  And gets you to a conclusion of, “I will never do it again.” Because you know the feeling of being wrong, and you know how it feels like when causing other people grief, and also for putting your self in a complicated situation, and causing yourself difficulty for making the wrong choices you made.  

It gets you down to being regretful and when you do not help yourself, you regret every single day of your life instead of fixing your broken life as soon as you can and do better.  And yes, it is human nature to feel regretful after being wrong. It is actually good to feel guilty after a mistake because then you get to know your self even more by recognizing your weaknesses and then you tell yourself “Right, next time I better be like this instead.” It is good to feel that way but not to drown in regrets.  

I think regrets can pull us down and we just become unable to do anything right again.  Whatever e have done in the past, we shouldn’t let this overpower us.  

Let me share a quick story of a single mom that I have encountered this month.  She was young, at seventeen, she got pregnant out of wedlock.  She got married at eighteen before she gave birth to her baby boy.  After a year, she got separated from that marriage.  It was tough.  It was a turmoil getting through that stage.  She thought it was a mistake getting pregnant and especially getting married at a young age and moreso getting separated.  She regret everything she had done and thought she will never be happy again.  Finances was difficult for her.  She tried to raise her only child by herself because she wanted no help from the dad.  She felt sorry everyday her life for not finishing school, for being separated, and for choosing all the choices she made.  She fought for her happiness many times by looking for Mr. Right.  However, everytime she failed after every relationships, she also would lose sight of her job.  She would lose her way and forgets that she has a kid waiting for her back home.  She blamed it from her failed marriage and early pregnancy.  She thought she was a complete failure.  She was a complete miserable single mother.  Until one day, she found God.  God touched her heart when she was sobbing in tears and was complaining how hard life was to her.  She thought she was hopeless and alone but no she was not.  

Let me stop there.  When she found God, she realized that all of us are naturally able to make a mistake like she was.  Yet, she learned that by accepting God in her life, and by learning to forgive her self from all the wrongs she did, by loving her self again, and most importantly, by embracing the consequence and the responsibility of every choices she took in the past, she had set her self free from the notorious poison of regret.  And then she finds herself happier each day, living each day to become an inspiration to her wonderful child.  

I know we all have been in this point of our life like she had, and great for us who have learned to accept and embrace ourselves without the seeking of anyone’s approval or without depending on anyone’s view of us.  We are created in the image of God and regardless of the times we stumble, we are here to stand up again and share the lessons we learned.

So, if ever you are drowned in regrets, it is never too late to start again.  Leave that regrets behind and begin again.  

I hope I have shared something to inspire you today. 

-jal